Storytelling – The Renewable Human

“I am who I think you think I am.”
Charles Horton Cooley, American sociologist (1864-1929)

Who are you? Do you have a single authentic self, or do you have different selves – one for online, one for offline, maybe a different one for each social interaction in your life? Does it matter?

As a child, if you were brought up by parents who continually told you that you were smart and would accomplish great things, you might fulfill their expectations and become what you think they think of you. Of course, this must fall within reason. A 5 ft 2 in basketball hopeful will never make the NBA (the shortest NBA player ever was Muggsy Bogues of the Toronto Raptors at 5 ft 3 in, but he could reportedly jump 44 in vertically).

Studies confirm that both high expectations (particularly from parents) and high aspirations contribute to academic achievement. Positive expectations also influence job performance and can even be self-fulfilling. In contrast, poor expectations and/or aspirations handicap job performance and cost employers billions annually.

Online Tools

Today we have many tools to both capture what others expect of us and to remodel the image we present back to the world.

Your profiles on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media sites present who you think you are. Your tweets, blogs, and podcasts give others a sense of your background, expertise, personality, and goals. YouTube videos connect you with others emotionally (add a kitten for maximum impact), as do all the selfies you snap.

On the other hand, the likes, followers, and comments you receive tell you whether the image you’ve created matches up with what your public thinks about you. If you’re not getting inquiries or callbacks from HR departments or recruiters for the jobs you want, is your profile incomplete, inconsistent, or incorrect? Are you sharing your profile with the right audience?

Reactive Approach

Most people seem to use social media reactively for validation and reinforcement. This passive approach with the simple goal of boosting one’s popularity, hence one’s relevance and importance, can lead to several problems.

First, data points are limited. Self-esteem that relies on social media mentions and likes, sometimes by strangers, is superficial. In the online world, virtual validation is a shallow proxy for a real person-to-person relationship that offers a better chance of understanding where someone else is genuinely coming from. Online, we are spared the bumps and bruises of reality that are critical to personal maturation and learning to steer our own course in life.

Second, a reactive approach is unfocused. It goes wherever your tribe of choice goes. A focused profile is important if you are targeting a future career change; the more focused you are, the stronger your case. Remember, your profile is a composite of all searchable content about you from all sites.

The third problem is silos, which can close off interesting opportunities. You naturally self-select online groups to join and follow who you believe think like you and shun those who do not. “I work in design, so I’m not interested in accounting.” The result is self-reinforcing polarization or radicalization of society. Unfortunately that’s where we are today, and it makes it difficult for us to compromise, collaborate, and move forward.

In contrast, in the physical world you will inevitably encounter strangers who aren’t like you. (Enlightened people might even seek them out.) When you develop actual personal relationships with those who are dissimilar, it is much harder to stereotype, devalue, and demonize them. Intergroup contact reduces prejudice, thus innovative programs like Red/Blue Workshops base their strategy on that principle.

A More Strategic Approach

You can take a proactive path to build your image. Modify and augment your activities and online image if you want to reinforce (or change) others’ perceptions of you. The idea would be:

You want to be seen as an expert on X, which you are not.
Based on your research, you start engaging in activities that create or add to your image as an expert on X. This includes blogging, joining online groups, earning a certificate, giving talks, etc.
You monitor how your friends, followers, and groups respond.
Based on their feedback, you patch any perception gaps that exist.
Your followers then start to have new expectations of you as a bona fide expert on X.
Their expectations drive you further towards being an expert, perhaps in ways you hadn’t expected. You become who you think they think you are.

Isn’t it all just marketing? Yes and no. Some might call this an instrumental (or even cynical) approach to building an image, considering you weren’t an expert to begin with. Marketing often builds personas or validated profiles of potential customers. You could say you’re offering a persona to potential employers. However, in your case it’s more complicated as you may provide different personas over time depending on your career direction.

In a fast-changing world where each millennial is expected to go through 12-15 different jobs (each presumably requiring new skills) in his or her lifetime, continually managing potential employers’ perceptions of you to open doors to new opportunities will be an advantage.

Your self-image or selfie can flex, and probably will anyway as you get older and wiser (or wider in some cases). Try taking a whole-person selfie today and ask yourself: Who am I (including who do I want to be)? Who am I to others? Who do I think they think I am?

Then ask the same questions, but imagine yourself 5 years in the future.

I hope this blog bubbles up some helpful personal insights. Do you have your own ideas about how to understand and develop an effective self-image? Please subscribe to The Renewable Human and leave a comment. Thanks very much for visiting!

The biggest mistake that you can make is to believe that you are working for somebody else. Job security is gone. The driving force of a career must come from the individual. Remember:
Jobs are owned by the company, you own your career!
Earl Nightingale, American radio personality, speaker, and author

In planning for the future, you may find it helpful to share your background, expertise, goals, and dreams. Storytelling will help you build important relationships through social networks and attract the right employers or employees, mentors, and investors. What is the story you want to tell others about yourself?

Much has been written about how to tell a good story. We’ll harness 6 key ideas to help you tell your unique story – and everyone has a story.

1. Audience

One of the most important considerations is your audience. Who are you trying to reach? How much do you know about them? What are their challenges, past, present, and future? Why should your story matter to them?

Getting the answers may take a bit of research. The more uncertain or wider our target audience profile is, the more diluted our message will be. Admittedly, sometimes this can’t be helped if we need to reach a wider audience.

If this sounds familiar, it’s a fundamental sales principle. The more we show that we know the world of your audience, the more likely they will listen to our story and accept our message.

Nobody cares how much you know,
until they know how much you care.
Theodore Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States

2. Message

It helps to have a simple, clear, consistent message. What are the 1-2 sentences that describe who you are? Your resume or LinkedIn profile may have many subthemes – career history, education, volunteer work, etc. – but we are trying to construct a single picture in the viewer’s mind of who you are, a picture consistent with who you say you are.

The opposite of clarity is confusion, and confusion leads to fear, uncertainty, and doubt (FUD) – in this case, about your story. If your storytelling is complicated or unclear, it will raise questions. When a product marketer claims their miracle cure can solve everybody’s ills, most of us would be skeptical about how exactly it could do this. Similarly, you may need to develop a substory about your complicated career path.

3. Structure

A good story proceeds from introduction to conflict to resolution. There are other structures, but for most people, a timeline is familiar and easy to follow.

What about the idea of conflict? Conflict is something that can draw your audience in; people are intrigued by it and want to see how it plays out.

In your story, conflict could be represented by barriers to a personal goal that could not be overcome until later in life. Or, it could be how you managed to deal with a challenging work environment (keeping names and companies anonymous). Or perhaps mid-career obsolescence drove you to acquire additional training. Everyone has stories like these.

Or be inventive and create an enemy, like recent layoffs or worker shortages. Dramatic tension is compelling. In one case, for a company that had no real competition, a business consultant even created a fierce imaginary competitor. Although employees knew this competitor was fictional, they came up with many innovative ideas when they were told this competitor had somehow shaved its production times by 2 days.

4. Content

In populating your content, you could use the traditional 5 ‘W’s’ – Who, What, When, Where, and Why. Resumes list the first 4, but usually not the fifth. Consider adding ‘Why’ if you think it would help explain your career path. Why did you jump from one position at Company A to a lower position at Company B?

Of the 5 ‘W’s,’ the ‘Why’ question is the only one that demonstrates an ability to reflect, strategize, and move on. Incidentally, these are human skills that cannot easily be replaced by automation.

When sharing content (LinkedIn, resume, pitching an investor, or in a conversation), you will inevitably raise unspoken questions like ‘What did you do in the gap between (date) and (date)?’ or ‘What do you want from me?’ Try to identify these, and don’t forget to address them at some point.

Emotion makes stories memorable. If you want to be memorable, connecting with your audience’s emotions can help. How can you do that when your story doesn’t seem that emotional?

One way to develop emotional rapport is to disclose personal valleys or vulnerabilities. This can be tricky; the extent to which you bare your soul depends on the situation. If you start telling your whole life story at a casual party, you’ll probably find yourself alone. In a business setting, you may open up just a little, then gauge the response before going further.

Sharing a humbling experience, however, is usually well received. It will resonate with your audience, since most people have had that experience or know someone who has. Their emotions will mirror your emotions when you share that anecdote and the insights you gained, and you will gain rapport.

Finally, put an exclamation mark on your story with resolution or victory. Depending on the message, you could end by painting a vision of how you would bring success to your future employer or investor or how they would help you fulfill a meaningful social mission. Finish on a positive note.

5. Competitive Analysis

There are plenty of stories on the internet, not just yours. What stories capture your attention? Why?

This exercise can be useful, but it does require some self-awareness. When you come across an interesting story, look at its composition to understand what made the story worth your attention. The same can be done for online videos, podcasts, and other modalities. There are many good resources on storytelling in marketing and sales.

Then put yourself in the shoes of your target audience. Why would they pick certain stories? Do they prefer certain formats or channels, and are these suitable to your message?

6. Practice

This may mean revising and practicing your story over many cups of hot tea or coffee. Once you’ve crafted a near-final draft of your personal story, don’t be afraid to test it with trusted friends and family. Their feedback will be more objective.

Ideally, the next step would be to test different versions of your story with someone who resembles your intended audience. If you’re targeting recruiters, check your story out with a recruiter. If you’re trying to launch a Kickstarter project, run your story by a focus group of consumers.

These tips are by no means all-inclusive. Google lists 1.28 billion references on the larger topic of ‘self-development,’ but (only) 128 million references on ‘personal storytelling.’

Do you have your own ideas about how to tell a compelling personal story? Please subscribe to The Renewable Human and leave a comment. Thanks very much for visiting!